We have really worked on ourselves while disciplining the child. We always noticed that he is not behaving properly when we are not meditating or behaving properly.
And one more thing we realised that if we keep on doing the wrong behaviour or wrong actions in front of him he picks them up like pointing finger, showing eyes, saying “no” for wrong things etc. So, we stopped doing such things in front of him. We tell him in a positive manner that “the thing is wrong to touch it” rather than saying “don’t touch this”. Also, if he is repeating mistakes, we ask him (though he is very young) that “what do you think, will Shri Mataji like it?”, and in many cases he would slowly slowly stop doing those wrong actions.
“…And then there is a way of correcting children. I mean, I don’t like that punishment, you can correct the children, never. But by telling them stories, by telling them, talking to them, by sorting out with them, you can work it out very well. And if you talk with them, I tell you, these days the children are so wise, that they immediately take to wisdom, immediately. When they talk, they talk wisdom. I mean all of them sometimes, if you talk to them, you feel you are amongst grandparents or great-grandparents, the way they are talking about things. So, you have to understand that these are special children, are to be treated with respect and to be brought up with respect and instill in their mind that: “You are special children,” that “You are children who have to change the world. You have come on this earth for a very great purpose and that’s why you have to be brought up like that…
…And then the disciplining also comes in children when they understand that they are …, they themselves discipline. So, the first thing is to instill in them the sense of security and a sense of self-respect. I think this is the most important thing we have to do….” (Shri Mataji, Children, Parents, Schools, 1985)
We both had a bad habit to drink water from the bottle directly and my husband many a times used to touch the bottle with lips and in India it is considered inauspicious to offer water from a bottle which is touch with lips, and he started doing it..and then finally when we stopped doing it and started drinking water from the glass he also stopped doing it.
We have a dream for him that he should brush his teeth in the evening but we don’t do so we know that first we have to get into habit of brushing our teeth in night and then he would do the same and it will not work out that we make him do it every night without ourselves doing it.
“The first sign of Shri Ganesha in a child is wisdom. If the child is not wise, if he is troublesome, if he does not know how to behave then that shows that the Shri Ganesha is being attacked by him….” (Shri Mataji, 1989).
This excerpt of Shri Mataji had helped us one time when we were unaware of ourselves, and he was behaving very unwisely…and we were not able to realize why he is behaving like this and when we read this we realised that it’s because our Mooladhara is not settled completely and this is why he is behaving so unwisely and then we started meditating on Mooladhara chakra and of course with in few days he was ok 🙂
Actually the only thing I wish to emphasis is that we have to be constantly on alert against negativities working from inside and outside us (parents)… keep clearing and meditating and properly and introspecting always.. Believe me, it is very difficult. I sometimes get frustrated that as soon as my attention indulges in something else, which invariably it does, my alertness comes down, negative thoughts start creeping in and here goes the introspection.. then clearance then meditation and and in 3-4 days time the child’s behavior changes… And then we get a shock and then we again come on the right track.
with Nirmal Love,